October 30, 2020

“Trauma Tips” Self-Love and Relationships

This is a list of monthly “trauma tips” from a trauma specialist to help you reduce the effects of trauma and chronic stress on your life so you can live from a place of healing, hope and happiness.

Healing from trauma is a different process for each person. As a trauma-focused therapist I never tell my clients to do anything that I haven’t tried or use regularly in my life. I have learned over the years through experience, research, feedback from clients and insights from other professional’s successful ways of healing emotional wounds as well as managing persistent stress.  What I share with you here is both cutting edge and tried-and-true techniques for healing.

 

Trauma Tip #1

Inner Critic– Many of us have a part of our self that acts as an Inner Critic. This part’s job is to keep us in line. This part might try and make us do things perfectly, it undermines our self esteem so we won’t take risks and it tends to be harsh and shaming. Ironically, when you go inside and get to know an Inner Critic part surprisingly, we learn that this part is actually trying to help us (even though it is really causing trouble).

Getting to know this part of yourself rather than fighting it, helps to heal that part and reduces its activation. As we get to know the stories of that part and what its job is, then we can develop greater compassion for it thereby reducing its need to continue with its reactions. We may even begin to see these parts of ourselves as parts who are trying to protect us, keep us from getting hurt, failing, being ridiculed or rejected.

Take some time, get to know your Inner Critic and see if it can be transformed.

 

Trauma Tip #2

Mother Earth. Connecting to the earth and nature on a daily basis is helpful for grounding. Many indigenous cultures support connection to the earth as a way of connecting to something greater than ourselves. The earth and nature are great reminders about changing states of being and resiliency. Just as the earth is constantly changing by renewing itself with the seasons, we too are not stagnant. Our moods, feelings and life circumstances are changing too.

The earth is wise in its ways. At almost 50 billion years old we have a lot to learn from mother earth. Take time, find ways to connect to the earth, let the earth share its wisdom with you, let it ground you, soothe you and inspire you. Feel a oneness with the earth. It is good for your mental health and good for our planet.

Consider Thich Nhat Hanh’s words, “You carry Mother Earth within you. She is not outside of you. Mother Earth is not just your environment.”

 

Trauma Tip #3

Listening to The Tim Ferris Show and the episode where he discloses his own sexual abuse as a child as well as suggested resources.

The Tim Ferriss Show

#464: Tim Ferriss — My Healing Journey After Childhood Abuse

 

Trauma Tip #4

Loving Kindness Meditation to your inner child. Practice the Loving Kindness Meditation by directing it to your inner child. Take a moment to connect with your inner child. Bring up a picture of yourself as a child or a felt sense of you as a young child.  Then repeat the loving kindness meditation to that inner child.

Let them feel your love, compassion and care. Notice any waves of love or self-compassion arising in you as you do this practice. Practice daily and see how you feel. You might notice changes to your negative self-talk, improved confidence and ability to love self and others in a greater way.

Repeat to your inner child, “May you be happy, May you be free of suffering, May you feel loved and worthy, May you be able to love, May you be healthy”.

Feel free to add any other healing comments that fit for you.

A Meditation on Lovingkindness by Jack Kornfield

 

This information is provided by Lemecia Lindsey, LICSW. Lemecia has dedicated her private counseling practice to helping clients heal from trauma. She specializes in EMDR therapy, Neurofeedback and is an Integrative Medicine Mental Health Provider.

*This list is not a substitute for medical intervention. Consult with a doctor to decide what is best for you.

 

 

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