Yes, even adults need routines and especially couples. Creating daily routines gives couples a sense of security in their marriage. Rebuilding intimacy and maintaining connection won’t happen by itself. It takes effort. Rituals of connection strengthen relationships, and give couples something to look forward to each day. Daily rituals can also help to smooth over rough patches and reinforce love for each other. Dr. John Gottman (world renowned couples researcher) suggests that couples commit to a “magic six hours a week together”. This time together can add up quickly and include daily rituals for saying goodbye in the morning and reuniting at the end of the day.
Below are some 16 daily love routines to help couples strengthen their connection and create resiliency in their marriage.
Morning routines:
1. Wake up with each other.
2. Leave love notes by the coffee maker for your partner.
3. Make breakfast together, for each other or eat together.
4. Shower together.
5. Complement your spouse on their appearance.
6. Have a routine for leaving each other such as a kiss “make it 6 seconds or more”. The six-second kiss” will increase your emotional and physical intimacy. Physical contact releases Oxytocin (the bonding hormone), which can improve our mood (for days), and can help you stay calm.
Mid day routines:
7. Send your partner a text and let them know that they are on your mind.
Evening routines:
8. When reuniting, acknowledge each other by making loving eye contact and use a soft voice.
9. Make dinner together and/ or eat together.
10. Debrief about the day. Share a high point and a low point of your day at the dinner table.
12. Take an evening walk together. Hold hands when waking. By holding hands and touching each other the stress hormone (cortisol) will drop. This will increase your sense of closeness in the relationship.
13. Watch a favorite TV show together.
14. Go to the grocery store together or run errands.
Nighttime routines:
15. Go to bed at the same time.
15. Turn off technology and pay attention to each other.
16. Have a cuddling ritual with or without sex.
Every couple is unique and therefore their routines should be too. Each couple should decide what type of routines work for their relationship. There is no right or wrong way. The most important part of a routine is to stick to it. Making your unique love routines part of your daily life will not only help during times of relationship or life stress but will ultimately help your marriage to thrive!